I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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