How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
