i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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