I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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