i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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