i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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