I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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