I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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