I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
