Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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