I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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