did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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