Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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