You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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