we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
