Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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