i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
