So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
