distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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