weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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