so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize