I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
