weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You're like the curious george of whores
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
