HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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