i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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