i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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