Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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