It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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