never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
