I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
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