Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
