I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize