Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
