he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
