it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize