Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I have aggressive nipples.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I would ride that face into the sunset
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
