I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
