found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
