they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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