my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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