I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
