I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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