she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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