I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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