I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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