Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
should my penis look like a turkey
it's great music for shaving your balls
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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