i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
