I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
God, I missed his penis.
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