He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
