ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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