Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
NoShamevember. You game?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
