I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize