She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I cut my penus on the lid.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
