I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
