What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm at about main and main street
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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