Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
