These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
