Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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