i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
