Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
