STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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