I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
