Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
