I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize