Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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