Having a random hookup so left but love u
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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