I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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