I'm gonna have a badass scar
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
