Do vagina's smell?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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