I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
