idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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