At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize